I hate this house!

I don't "hate" my house, I hate my housekeeping skills or lack there of. I went into the kitchen to make some popcorn and wanted to cry. What a mess. I thought of snapping a few pictures to post but then realized how embarrassed I'd be if people saw my mess. Heck, I'm embarrassed just writing about it. I don't know why I can't keep a clean or at least semi clean house. Paul is always tripping over something or stepping on something (usually a toy that he didn't put away even though I told him to put it away a few times already) and he says, "stupid thing! Why is this house such a mess?!?!" (He's good at never taking the blame for things, it's always someone or something else's fault)
One of the reasons my house is the way it is is because we are lazy. We come in and put things down instead of putting them where they belong. Another reason is because Dave (husband) and I (more me than him) don't make the kids pick up after themselves or put something away before taking something else out.
My mom was always good at keeping a clean house. I don't remember her ever making us help her clean, maybe every once and a while. She enjoyed cleaning, I think. I enjoy cleaning and organizing other people's houses, just not my own. Ask me to come over and help you clean and I'll be right over. But clean my own house, where do I begin? I just look at it and get overwhelmed and want to cry.
I think another problem is that I am a pack rat. I like to keep things that "I might use that" or "the kids like to play with that once and a while". I just need someone to come and get rid of everything for me when I'm not here. Isn't there a show like that?
Oh yeah, something else. Our dishwasher broke almost a month ago and I told Dave that we
didn't need to get a new one right away because we've been stressing about money lately.
There are other things that we need more than a dishwasher. Like a car. So I said I could keep up with the dishes, a dishwasher was the least of our needs. I guess it is the least of our NEEDS
but greatest right now of my WANTS!! I hate washing dishes. Especially when they are piled pretty high. Oh, pray for me. I'm having a really hard time getting this adult thing figured out. I'm 27 and I've been married for 7 years. I feel like I'm playing house and any minute my mom's gonna tell me it's time to clean up and get ready for dinner. Guess what Heather, it's not gonna happen. This is reality, this is life.

I was absent this summer

I was absent this summer from blogging and friends and everything and I didn't let any one know, sorry. I worked a lot this summer and so did my husband. I just felt so overwhelmed with everything that I stopped doing whatever I could. I've been doing just enough to slide by and not a bit more. Washing the dishes when both sides of the sink were overflowing, sweeping the floors when I got soooooooooooooooooo sick of stepping on cracker and cereal pieces, getting the kids clothes and mine each day from the mounds of clean laundry from the laundry table (I guess I at least wash the clothes, I just don't put them away).
Why was this such a bad summer? That's a good question. I feel like God is really testing our faith in Him. My husband and I have been having a hard time these past few months. Or maybe just I have. I don't know. Maybe I'll go deeper in following posts, maybe not, we'll see.
So I guess I just wanted to say, "Hey, I'm still here!" I'm really thinking this fall will be better and I'll be posting much more. Stay tuned...